The Twittering Classes - Les Caves Gets Techno

Les Caves Gets Wiv The Programme

During the forthcoming Les Caves de Pyrene Natural Wine Fair, TWOTS! (Terrific Wines On Tables, Seriously!), consumers will be able to avail themselves of the latest technology and wildly signal their approval for wines on display. Morse code, utilising a whistle (tweeter), in addition to other contemporary modes of communication such as semaphore, bush telegraph, setting fire to beacons and carrier pigeons will be amongst the methods that tasters can use to register their innermost thoughts about wine.

Les Caves will be posting video links of their Round-Table-With-Ragged-Edges conference on natural wine. Unfortunately, owing to the lack of sulphur in the wines and zero filtration, the reception is likely to be lousy. Les Caves’s resident technogeek Doug Wregg said that there would be plenty of ports for journalists to dock their equipment in. “I hear Liverpool is particularly nice at this time of year,” he remarked. And instead of using the normal mains socket aspiring wine writers will able to hook their leads of their laptops to a bicycle - powered by a grime-faced Victorian urchin.

There will be a seminar entitled How to Reduce Your Tasting Notes to Gobbledegook and a twitter feed to a nestful of hungry baby sparrows. Eric Narioo, MD of Les Caves de Pyrene, in an interview for What Computer, said that the new media was the important thing to happen to the wine world “since the invention of the grape”.

Narioo, quoting Henry Brook Adams, observed: “Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit”. He also told the assembled nerds that the instant anyone stopped tweeting they would receive a sharp buzzing sensation in the groin.