The stories behind the headlines

Champagne: radical new harvest rules

Apparently 40% of the money will be left on the vine and fewer bubbles will be allowed in each bottle.

Wildfire in California vineyard could have been caused by ‘bird-bomb’ firework

Napalming that family of sparrows could have been a slight overkill, admitted one viticulturist.

Australia in danger of confusing consumers: Wolf Blass

Publicity-shunning Wolf Blass (Fosterman to his friends) has warned Australia it is in danger of confusing the public with a ‘fruit salad’ of grape varieties.

Apparently growers should stick solely to making God’s own fruit salad shiraz and chardonnay because consumers wouldn’t be able to cope with the idea that different areas of Australia might conceivably be able to produce excellent examples of other grape varieties. The über-intellectualism of Sauvignon was beyond the ken of most sheilas, he announced in a rare lapse into the local patois.

‘If you are out of sight you are out of mind. No promotion and no propaganda, something terrible will happen. Nothing.’

Wolf Blass is rarely out of sight and said to be in full possession of all his marbles.

Wolf Blass attributed his own success to constant self-promotion and endless propaganda and said that Australians don’t give a four x for anything else. Unfortunately, something terrible did happen – his wines became popular, and now Wolfie is free to bark at the moon.

Just Say Nine

Speaking of publicity the 2009 vintage in Bordeaux is already being slated as having the “best publicity” since 2005.

You’ve Been Had

A leading UK off-license chain admitted that their three for two gimmick was simply a ruse to get people into the shops to buy jumbo bags of ready salted nuts.

Name of a Name!

Three wine competitions have merged into one, which will now be known as the Decanter International Competition of Wine And Drink: DICWAD

Ten Green Bottles Standing On The Shelf

Having supported the pioneering of the lighter glass bottles to save the environment, supermarkets are asking their oenologists to make lighter wine. Another idea being experimented with is putting less liquid in the bottle. Australian wine makers are said to be very much in favour of this development as the naturally high alcohol levels in their wines would more than compensate for the smaller volume of fluid.