More about restaurant wine lists

I have been asked to judge wine lists before for a variety of reasons on a variety of occasions. Some people know onions, I know wine lists. And I know what I like. I like a wine list that has various layers – like an onion!

I have also done a lot of consultancy. I’ve always approached a wine list as a conundrum – it should be a simple list of items but should be reveal the truth about the restaurant; it should be as crafted as the wines it contains. It should have shape, an aesthetic, it should inform (and possibly educate) on the basic level; it should make people think about food and it should make people want to drink wine.

The top pledge in my wine manifesto is that the wines contained therein should represent great value for money. The lists which have glittering jewels that 99% of the population can’t afford are pretentious. This can only happen if the sacred cow of gross profit margin is slaughtered and more sensible cash mark ups apply. Profitability is about what you bank not your relentless, unimaginative, punitive gp. GPs were seemingly invented at the same time as spreadsheets so that one could create fancy projections; they have nothing to do with average spend, real profit and even more real value. Restaurants that overcharge, that don’t pass savings onto customers, should be exposed as at worst greedy, at best lacking insight, empathy and imagination.

Wine lists should contain wines with personality. The notion of the eclectic list, trying to be all things to all people, is the classic line of least resistance. There is no need to tick the box with the requisite milquetoast Pinot Grigio, oak soup Rioja or gooseberry enema Marlborough Sauvignon (ok, I’m exaggerating for effect). One underestimates the public. What? No Pinot Grigio? I’ll have to take my business elsewhere. Instead of ticking every box, the compiler of the wine list should be looking for wines that over-deliver on flavour. These wines are often more original, the artisan wine that actually tastes of wine, rather than alcoholic grape juice. The lack of discrimination can be at the top end as well as the bottom. Most of the long wine lists can be desperately dull affairs: immense digests of unaffordable Burgundy and claret, or, even worse, the spoofy wines, massively extracted and powerful, designed (appropriate word) to garner critical approbation, but never meant to be drunk with pleasure.

Distinctiveness comes from discrimination. The best lists are exclusive not inclusive. As for the content one is looking for something to distinguish them from the humdrum. Restaurants should be promoting small growers rather than brands. They wouldn’t buy bread or packaged meat from a supermarket; they shouldn’t be buying wines that were made with the supermarket in mind.

I am keen on imaginatively laid out wine lists although I would propose that lists be moulded according to the nature of the establishment.  One has to presume that customers have no knowledge of what the wines will taste like, but will be intelligent enough to make a good choice if the right information is clearly presented to them. I would go further; my aim is to make lists where I would willingly drink every single wine. I am not thinking, therefore, of ingratiating the imaginary conservative consumer, but trusting my judgement. As I have written elsewhere there is no definitive way to shape a list: it can be presented by price, by region, by grape variety, by style, by food match or focused to contain a vertical of vintages, for example, or a range of wines from a single grower or a favourite variety such as Riesling or Syrah.

There are numerous lists that have very good wines on them. Some people read the right magazines, some are magpie collectors, whilst others have excellent palates and buy with discernment, but the ability to create a fascinating list revolves around being able to step back and to be able to understand that the label on a bottle means nothing to most people; it is the contents of the bottle that customers are interested in. A great wine list can make that obscure list of names and labels meaningful and exciting.