Fizz-ling into nothingness

Illogical Wine displays Vulcanicity

Stop Wine Press:Unstoppered bottles in the Auvergne!

Pet Pink Boules bottles explode in Maupertuis cellar!!

Quadruple fermentation is felt across the nation!!!

All flights over the Auvergne are suspended as an invisible cloud of tiny pink bubbles hits the lower atmosphere.

Ryanair boss tells everyone to eff off.

Maupertuis commented: “The problem with this vintage was one of ripeness. Originally, there was too much residual sugar. Now there is no residual wine”.

The huge puddle of exploded wine attracts swarm of pet gnats.