Customers who know the price of some things and the value of nothing
A thread recently appeared on Jancis Robinson’s purple pages prompted by a have-a-go-reader excoriating Terroirs for the poor quality of their wines and for being overpriced. Someone else chimed in with their agreement and observed that the list was ridiculously expensive and that he would never drink wine if he went there. To be fair the balance was somewhat redressed by subsequent contributions, but I was left with a bad taste in the mouth.
I half thought initially of taking issue with these mammering flap-mouthed clackdishes, spleeny, guts-griping puttocks and beslubbering clay-brained clotpoles (there – got that out of my system), but then there is no accounting for idiocy and no amount of cold reasoning ever wins the day or lays to rest the argument. A relentlessly negative critic is a parasite, a meanspirited critic with no knowledge whereof he or she speaks is simply a waste of space (miow!). I’m exaggerating, of course; one of the contributors was making what he thought was a reasonable point and he did reiterate that he enjoyed the food and atmosphere, but the concerns he voiced are indicative of opinions held by a small minority of critical customers, opinions based on false information.
To address the various points raised within the thread:
1. Whilst there are quite a few low/no sulphur wines the majority of wines, which are organic and biodynamic, wouldn’t frighten any horses. Even most of the low sulphur wines are not exactly full- throttle funky and even those that are funky are not faulty - they are just different. The apprehension that organic and biodynamic equates to weird and undrinkable has to be scotched. That’s the kind of crass wine apartheid that I didn’t think anyone believed in anymore. There are many thousands of wines that fall into those categories alone which are nothing less than easy-drinking. Besides there are over three hundred wines on the Terroirs list to choose from and the staff are always happy to recommend wines which taste fruity and conventional.
2. The mark ups are extremely reasonable (in my opinion). If the norm in the West End is between 70-75% gp Terroirs is only 55-60% and sometimes considerably less. There are about 70 plus wines under £30. Cash mark ups apply on more expensive wines and champagnes. One of the objectives of Terroirs is to introduce more people to wines that they could not normally afford and an enlightened mark-up system is the means of doing this.
3. Perhaps the most extraordinary thing about many of the wines is the tiny level of production. Yields are frequently less than 20hl/ha, and, whilst this is not a guarantee of quality in itself, it does signify fanatical dedication to produce something distinctive and artisan. The wines are unique for another reason; in certain cases the entire production might be only a single barrel. Those criticizing Terroirs should understand that none of these wines on the list are available in the high street or supermarket – they are truly limited editions. Contrast to the exalted prices of the top cru classé clarets, Burgundies or Californians or some of the so-called icon wines from South America or Australia or the ready over-availability of brands.
4. Terroirs is currently doing about 1200 covers a week and customers are drinking an amazingly wide range of wines. Isn’t the proof of the quality of the wine in the nature of drinking? We don’t expect everyone to like all the wines. Besides no-one has to drink a wine that they dislike; if they taste it and reject it that is fine. The philosophy of Terroirs is that customers should enjoy the wines; if they like to be challenged then they can have loads of fun; if they prefer to drink something delicious they will find plenty of choice at all prices to meet their requirements.
The people who don’t get Terroirs are so imprisoned by convention that they will never understand the spirit of the natural wine bar. That spirit is based on generosity and the premise that wine can be exciting and unpredictable. The more natural wines can give you great highs and occasional lows – yes, it is lottery, but then so is drinking any wine. The ethical spirit of knowing that 95% of the wines on the list are made by farmers who profoundly respect their environment. The wines are not going to be dirt cheap, but they will be good value. Finally, the spirit of reasonable mark-ups so that customers can confidently venture into the lesser-known reaches of the list, combined with the knowledge that if they really don’t like the wine they can say so and order something different without being financially penalised. I’ve noticed from twelve years of working in restaurants that a large number of people who write and complain about their experiences radiated negativity from the moment they stepped through the door and seemed almost cheerfully determined to have a bad time. Terroirs is by no means perfect and the people who work there are always striving to improve performance, but the wine list is honest, good value and excitingly different and to criticise it on those grounds shows a “man most ignorant of what he is most assur’d”.